Bedtime Shenanigans

In our house we try to have a bedtime routine. Take a bath, brush your teeth, read 2 books, say prayers, and goodnight. It looks flawless on paper. However, my 3-year-old has her own ideas about how the bedtime routine should go.


"I'll take 3 hops, 4 skips, and 2 twirls. Then I'll put on my pajama shirt. Then I'll climb in bed and back out, do a forward roll, and put on my pants. Then I'll do 3 hops to the bathroom and brush my teeth. First my turn, then your turn. Then..."


I may have created a monster. My daughter is more in love with making plans than I am. Sometimes I even have to write her a list that we can check off, and she makes sure I include each step so there are more checkable items to which we must adhere. I'm all for structure and routine, but I feel things are getting away from the adults in this house!


Lately its the post-goodnight routine that is taking its toll on the over 30 crowd. (Only over by a few months I'd like to add). We say goodnight and close the door, tiptoe to the couch and wait. We know it's coming.


"Daaaaaaaddyyyyyyyyy! I need to go potttttttyyyyyy!"


There's something within me that just feels wrong about telling her she can't go potty, but I know not a drop of pee is going to come out when we get to the toilet.


So, we wise up and add "go potty" to the pre-bedtime list. Now we've got this parenting thing down... until the next night.


"Mooooooooommyyyyyyyyyy! I need a driiiiiiiiiiinnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkk!"


Rats. Didn't see that one coming. Also added to pre-bedtime routine.


Within the course of 2 weeks, my daughter successfully added 5 new line items to the bedtime routine, including singing a lullaby, rubbing her back, making pooh bear talk, reading pooh a story, and laying down with her. And after all of these shenanigans, the grown-ups trod wearily to bed. Finally, we have won. We will now accept our post-graduate degrees in parenting. We are not letting her manipulate us with bedtime. We have successfully headed her off at the pass, creating a routine that will not bend! Parenting magazines, feel free to use us as your feature article.


"Daaaaaaaddyyyyyyyy! I need a tissue!"


I never did like routines and tight schedules. Today I am grateful for flexibility and for a three-year-old mastermind who makes me laugh.